I had been stuck in this place that challenged me to the point where I finally broke. I will never be able to beat the mental health issues that I have to deal with on a daily basis, I can only try and manage my life the best way possible. I have a lot to live for, my husband and kids are my focal point, they lead me home when I feel so far from home.
Unfortunately, after a long battle with depression these past few months, I became overcome and I fell down deep into the rabbit hole. I had a choice, go inpatient and try to work this out, or stay home and try to get my head right. I was packed and ready to go to check in at 10:00 this morning, an hour before it was time to leave I started having a massive anxiety attack. I’ve been hospitalized, and every one of those experiences had a negative impact on me. Some we’re traumatic.
I decided that I would stay home after sitting down with my husband and talking through my options. Luckily, I meet with my psychiatrist tomorrow morning, and he thinks that there’s more to all of this then just a problem with my mental state. He thinks that my thyroid might be off and that I may need to increase my meds for that.
He also thinks that even though I’m only 39, I am menopausal. I’ve been symptomatic for months now, my primary care doctor was supposed to run a full panel to check my hormones so we could piece this puzzle together. Unfortunately, he only ran a thyroid test, which the results are still pending. So, tomorrow I’m going to get a list of supplements that my doctor thinks will help, I am praying that this is going to make a difference in my life for the better.
I’m thankful that I wasn’t placed under mandatory inpatient care. I need my family in my life every day. I can’t stand to be away from them for more than a day. For any of you who understand what I’m talking about throughout this post, you know the pain that you carry in your heart when you fall down. I hate this feeling, but as long as you have someone in your life who understands that when you fall down it’s not your fault, it makes the healing process easier.
I guess that’s why I keep my life and my issues in my family circle, they understand and never blame me or make me feel like I screwed everything in my life up, including my family.
Thank you for reading, and helping me through your posts to see that I’m not alone in this. We may be talking about different issues, but there always seems to be a common theme.